Euro Chic/Day 22
My husband and I have been together for sixteen years and while we’re very happy, I’ve always secretly been afraid we will end up at a silent dinner. We’ve all seen them – the couple at a restaurant that has absolutely nothing to say to each other so they just stare lifelessly at their meal and the only sound between them is the noise of silverware scraping on plates. Fortunately, my fear of this awful scenario has allowed me to come up with a few handy tips to have a guaranteed interesting evening with the old ball and chain.
First, leave your children in the capable hands of a twelve-year-old boy. You want to end date night without having to work to get your children to sleep and a twelve-year-old boy will keep your kids in such a happy, frenzied, jumping off the furniture, treasure hunting state for the entire time you’re gone that your little ones will be begging for la-la land by the time you step foot in the door. There is also the possibility that things may be broken or damaged while you’re out and this helps create the all important dramatic tension necessary to make any date successful. Most dates have sexual tension, but in long relationships you just need to find tension wherever you can.
Next, pretend your appearance matters. You’re in a long relationship, not a “let’s see who can deteriorate faster” contest. Euro chic helped me out big time in this department. I was able to put on something fancy in under ten minutes and it made our date seem much more like an actual date.
Third — avoid mundane conversation. Now is not the time to ask if someone called the plumber or to talk about how bad Aunt Selma’s elephantiasis has gotten. Topics like that are stones on the path to the dreaded silent dinner. Also, although you have your partner’s full attention, this is no reason to have a mini “relationship workshop”. So even though something is really nagging at you, save it for another time and don’t try to disguise it as a form of light conversation, like, “By the way, how’s that affair going?” or “Just out of curiosity, how much weight have you gained since we’ve gotten married?”
And finally, remember the very first date you were on together and you didn’t know anything about each other? Well, here’s the cool part – there is still so much you don’t know about each other. We all keep stuff hidden — fears, hopes, regrets or even funny little things that happen that you just don’t mention because they seem insignificant. Don’t assume you know the person sitting across from you because we never truly know anyone. So look for the hidden stuff. It’s there, even in a long relationship. And that makes any date fascinating.
Also, alcohol helps.