Living in Northern California, I am very familiar with the popularity of purging one’s system of toxins. At any given time of the year, I could name at least a dozen people I know that are either starting or finishing a cleanse, in the midst of a detox or are starting a cleanse after finishing a detox. Party conversations are peppered with phrases like “hydro-therapy”, “No, thanks, I’m just juicing right now” and “My colon is so clean you could eat off of it.”
I haven’t done a cleanse or detox since I had kids. I’m a little wary of them because they can send you on an emotional rollercoaster and also make you weak and delirious from lack of food. What a delightful Mommy combination! Maybe I could also take up a dangerous sport like archery while I’m cleansing and I could host my own mini Hunger Games right on our property.
So instead of going the internal detox route, I have a few tips on how to externally detox – which really just means sweating a lot. The first version is the most expensive and luxurious —
Detox in the privacy of your own backyard with a deluxe, cedar-lined, mini sauna. (Not recommended for hillside properties.)
Or If you don’t have space for this hot, dangerously constructed beauty, no worries – Here’s a great way to detox as you relax around your house –
This product guarantees that you’ll cleanse your liver, shed weight and lose all your dignity in less than twenty minutes. But hey, if “Wonder Sauna Hot Pants” aren’t your style, you can just try my method —
Buy a one hundred percent polyester Mod dress, wear it with clingy non-breathable white tights, heavy black boots and walk just a mere five feet. You will be sweating profusely and nauseous by the time you reach your front door. You probably won’t make it to your car without passing out, but think how clean and happy your liver will be…