Bohemian – Day 19
A very unexplained and bizarre encounter happened to me at Starbucks yesterday that I’d like to share. After my 3 year old son, August, and I, placed our order, the friendly, twenty-something barista had this conversation with me:
Barista guy: (indicating August) “So, you got stuck with babysitting duty today, huh?”
Me: (confused) “Excuse me?”
Barista guy: “That kid is your little brother, right?”
A long moment of stunned silence from me.
Me: “No, he’s my son.”
Barista guy: (shocked) “Wow, I totally thought he was your little brother.”
As I walked to our table shaking, giddy, confused and wondering how anyone could think I looked young enough to have a 3 year old for a brother instead of a 3 year old for a son, I came up with the following possibilities:
1. Barista guy comes from a culture where siblings are routinely forty years apart in age.
2. Barista guy is blind, but is really good at making eye contact and coffee.
3. Barista guy assumed I was young from my spunky, Bohemian outfit, but that I was afflicted with Progeria, the rapidly aging disease.
4. The Starbucks counter is deceptively wide. Instead of the standard two feet, Starbucks employees are actually taking your order from space, hence, the fuzzy visibility.
5. Barista guy has a fetish for haggard and distracted grown women and knows exactly what to say to charm the mom jeans right off of them…
Because, I must say, even in the most flattering of lighting, I would never, ever, under any circumstances be confused with a plucky youth. And even though I am mocking and dismissing this encounter as complete farce, I definitely know two things –
My youthful Bohemian outfit had something to do with this wonderful, age-confusing mistake and therefore I will love, love, love Bohemian style FOREVER. And secondly, it’s a crazy mistake for sure, but it’s a mistake that I will never forget.
When August is 40 and I’m 83 I will still be telling him, “Do you remember the time we were at Starshanks and that young fella thought you and I were brother and sister? I was something then. I was really something. I could stop a clock, I tell ya…”
So thank you, blind, ignorant, fetish-filled barista guy from space. I love you.