American Classic – Day 17
Today I’m having one of those mom days that is so full of fabulous, my biggest problem is choosing what to wear… Just take a look at my dance card —
Septic Service — I start off the day waiting for the septic guy to empty our tank. Not a lot is required of me for this task except to be nauseated, then sign a check, but still, I want to look my best. The septic guy stares at poop all day, he doesn’t also need to stare at me in my super bowl half shirt and jeggings.
Sick Child — My oldest son is sick so I got a whole chicken to make broth. I really hate handling large, raw chicken and pulling out that creepy mystery bag inside the bird, but I don’t want my outfit to reflect my unhappiness. I want to look professional, but still feminine– butcher chic.
Dentist Appointment — My daughter has a dentist appointment. Nothing reminds you that you live the pampered life of a one-percenter like taking one child to the dentist along with your other child who is sick. I’m going to get a lot of dirty looks in the waiting room for this so I need to dress for the spotlight.
Play Date — My daughter, sick son and I will then pick up their three year old brother from a play date. When my kids haven’t seen each other in a while, they usually fight and drive me crazy for at least an hour, so my outfit needs to be cute and casual and ready to separate biting children off the floor.
Kids Kung Fu in the afternoon – I’m in full chauffer mode now. I want my outfit to look like I have an interesting life, but in fact I’m just staring at utube on my phone waiting for the class to be over.
Dinner – Me, three children, chicken soup. Oh, what to wear… what to wear…
Clean up — My husband usually comes home after dinner and I certainly don’t want to greet him looking haggard, holding a half-empty glass of wine and half-heartedly cleaning the kitchen. He’s seen that a thousand times. I don’t want to go as far as, “French Maid”, but I also don’t want to look like “Alice from The Brady Bunch.”
Bath and Story time – This outfit is in some ways is the most essential outfit of the day. It needs to be chic, yet durable (there’s water involved) but most importantly, it needs to be comfortable. I usually fall asleep reading to my kids and I don’t want to wake up at three o’clock in the morning wearing a pencil skirt. I’m thinking silk pajamas or at the very least, a caftan.
So that’s my day. I’ve decided to go with this outfit —
— because nothing says “septic” and “soup” to me like a blazer and pearls. Of course, I might have to make a few costume changes along the way, but hey, that’s all part of the exotic life of being a mom…