Bombshell – Day 15
I am not a morning person. Never have been. Never will be. I would really prefer to go to bed about two in the morning and wake up about ten, then shuffle around in my pajamas until lunch. But children and animals don’t really care if I’m a morning person or not. Animals want food at the crack of dawn and even more bewildering to me, children want to play at the crack of dawn. So a morning person I have been forced to become.
Which brings me to this morning. It was about 6:30 a.m., and as usual I was awake and walking out of our house in my pajamas carrying a large bucket of food scraps for our goats. I put on my pair of unattractive women’s “farm” boots and as I stepped off the porch, our dog Lucy ran in front of me and sent me flying off the porch, pajamas, goat scraps and all.
I fell hard on the frosty ground, on top of Lucy and a bunch of half eaten sweet potatoes and left over macaroni and cheese. I instantly felt a terrible pain in my ankle then started rolling around (I believe the technical term is “writhing”) on last night’s dinner (Lucy had run off, clearly blaming me for the entire situation).
The only glimmer of hope I had in this whole thing was that I saw our pig, Hogan, coming towards me to see if I was okay… I was so touched until I realized that he just trying to eat the food underneath me.
I’m fine, except that my ankle is really swollen and I can’t get my foot into any shoes except this really ugly pair of outdoor slippers I wear around our yard. And I certainly can’t get my foot into any Bombshell heels. I tried putting on some cute cheetah print ballet flats — I thought I could roll up some jeans and wear a t-shirt and scarf for a vintage bombshell look — but I couldn’t even wedge my foot into them without seeing stars.
I imagine that if this happened to other Bombshells, they would just put on a silky robe and eat chocolates until their ankle felt better. But unfortunately, I can’t do that, which means I’m back to a day or two void of tight clothes, push up bras and compliments.
However, I’ve decided to use my recovery time wisely and focus on doing something about my hair and make up, which has always been an afterthought for me. I’m going to hobble over to the drug store and stroll the aisles looking for eye brow pencils, nail polish and foamy rollers…
…just like any good Bombshell would do.