A Year in Review – Day 27
I started off September with the bold notion that I was going to dress in Avant-Guarde style for a month. I thought it would be fun to dress like a walking piece of art every day.
Well, maybe “fun” isn’t the right word. Probably “difficult” or more accurately “impossible” would be a better way to describe a mom of 3 living on a farm in Northern California dressing like Lady Gaga morning, noon and night.
I tried it for a few days and much to no one’s surprise, it didn’t work. So I switched to Avant-Guarde’s more laid back sister style — Arty Slick.
I kind of liked it. Arty Slick is a lot of black, a lot of really point shoes and it should be worn with an intimidating “I know modern art better than you do” kind of stare. And, depending on where you live, Arty Slick can be an intimidating look. When I was at the park one day wearing this —
— My friend looked at me and said, “I don’t know if we would be friends if I had met you in that outfit.” And she didn’t mean anything negative by that. She just meant that clothes are the first impression people have of you and Arty Slick was so far away from her own personality, she might not have walked up and said “Hello.” I had another friend see me in yet another Arty Slick outfit from very far away and wondered to herself, very annoyed, “Who is that woman wearing that?” Then she realized it was me. So clearly where I live Arty Slick gives off a vibe.
But the best part of Arty Slick for me was the “statement” jewelry — necklaces that can be focal points of conversations and bring a whole outfit together. And Arty Slick jewelry happens to be completely pre-schooler indestructible.
Haven’t you ever wanted to hand your baby something to play with while you’re changing a diaper? Arty Slick jewelry will be your best friend. My children have terrorized my jewelry for years and they met their match with Arty Slick. Once, I couldn’t find this chunky necklace I wanted to wear and I found August outside with it whipping branches of a tree. I just cleaned the necklace off, put it around my neck and away we went.
Now that’s my kind of jewelry. Of course, later on I noticed the necklace had a bit of an odor and August told me that he was trying to put the necklace on one of the chickens so she could, “look pretty.” So the smell was chicken poop and I’d been wearing it all day. Nice. I then put the necklace in the washing machine and it was still fine. Now that’s really my kind of jewelry.
And then I gave it to Goodwill. Indestructible or not, I’m not wearing a necklace that’s been on a chicken.