There’s a party in my pants

Recently, I read Michael Pollan’s book, In Defense of Food.  (It was awesome.)  There’s a section in it on vitamins and how if you’re eating right you don’t really need to take them.  Save your money, in other words, and just buy veggies.  Great advice, but some days I know I’m just not eating the pound of fruits and vegetables that will cut my chances of cancer in half.  Some days I’m just eating a pound of cereal.  Or a pound of cookies.  Or a pound of really old Halloween candy I found in the back of the pantry.

So I take a multi-vitamin.  It gives my body what it needs and plus it allows me to eat as much crap as I want guilt free.  I started doing some vitamin research to see what the best are and it turns out a lot of vitamins have a ton of yucky things in them.  If there is a 2-part chemical name listed in parentheses next to each vitamin and mineral on your vitamin bottle — For example, next to “vitamin C’ it would say “as ascorbic acid” or next to calcium it would say “as calcium citrate” — this means that each vitamin and mineral contained in the formula is present as a single, isolated, chemically manufactured nutrient.

Why is this a big deal?  Because your body knows the difference between synthetic isolates and real food. When you consume whole food nutrients, your body recognizes them instantly and knows what to do with them.

Which means that the best vitamin to take is one that is organic and derived from whole foods.

I’m getting to the best part.  I found this ad in a magazine and tore it out —


It’s Alicia Silverstone selling precisely the kind of vitamin I was looking for.  So I brought this ad with me to a coffee shop so I could work on a post about vitamins.  Just as I had set up all my things and got settled, the ad slipped off the table and fluttered to the floor.  Before I had a chance to pick it up, this cute guy walked by (think: hot hippie at Burning man) and leaned over to pick it up for me.

But the page had flipped over, so the ad on the opposite side was lying face up.  This ad —


We both stared at the ad in silent disbelief.  I didn’t know what to do.  It looked like I had actually taken the time to tear an ad out of a magazine about having a yeast party in my pants!  What made matters worse was that the Burning Man hottie did not politely pretend to ignore the yeast party ad.  No.  He was way too into being authentic for that.  He stared at it, barely suppressing a smile, all the way from the floor back into my hands.

I muttered, thank you, got my coffee to go and ran out of there.  He watched me leave, assuming that everyone must rush when they’re having a yeast medical crisis.

By the way, I got the vitamins and they’re great.  As far as the yeast product — I don’t really know.  I SWEAR!


  • Tricia says:

    I’m not a distributor, but you should maybe look into Juice Plus. It’s not a vitamin, and if you call it a supplement the JP folks get defensive. It’s fruits and vegetables, juiced, then dehydrated and encapsulated. There’s a huge body of research, mostly conducted by third parties, about it. My friend Janet Jackson (not a joke, that’s her name) is a distributor, and she would l-o-v-e to talk to you about it:

  • Kris C. says:

    I’m just like you, Holly. I woulda slithered away like a snake in the grass. I so totally get embarrassed when stuff like this happens, and it’s only at 2 am when I come up with the perfect thing I should’ve said!

    • Holly Hester says:

      I’m glad I have some company. I don’t know what it is about things happening spontaneously, but I always freeze — thoughts leave my head and I slink away — I guess for things like this I’m not a fight person, but a flight person. Of course later on I can think of something funny to say… much later on.

  • Lesia says:

    Hi Holly,
    I think you should have held eye contact and barely suppressed a smile yourself. Why look away? It was a funny moment that you shared and he was surely “man enough” not to be embarrassed by mention of a yeast party. And maybe he watched you leave because he thought you were equally hot.

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