I was going to write a whole post about where to find organic bathing suits. The idea about buying an organic bathing suit was something I’d never even thought about until a couple of days ago. Sure, organic food. Absolutely. Organic clothes. Makes sense. But an organic bathing suit? Do people even make organic bathing suits? And if so, what are they made out of? Hemp? I bet that looks nice when it gets wet.
I found a comprehensive guide to ethical swimwear right here, in case you’re interested.
But that’s not really what I want to talk about. My research got me thinking about bathing suits and how ever since I was a teenager I’ve never really enjoyed being in a bathing suit. I’ve always been way too self-conscious and a bathing suit is just a conduit to publicly display the things I hate about my body. Also, I’m a pale, freckly person — there is no such thing as a tan for me. I have two versions of skin tone — ghostly white and horribly burned. I could walk around in a barrel full of sunscreen and still get burned.
The problem is that in the summer I’m in a bathing suit a lot with my kids. We go to the pool almost every day and then we go to Florida and I might as well wear my bathing suit on the plane.
So what’s a girl to do? Here are my issues —
I can’t wear a one piece because my torso is too long, which means the bathing suit will get jammed up my crack within two seconds of putting it on.
I’m not at all boobalicious so I have to be very choosy when it comes to bikini tops or I’ll just look like a ten year old boy in drag.
My legs since my pregnancies have varicose veins all over them. I could seriously be a leg model for a pamphlet about varicose veins.
I don’t want to get any sun at all on any part of my body.
I’m kind of fine with my arms. I’m also okay with my stomach as long as I don’t have to bend over to get anything and then it crinkles up like crepe paper.
What did the Elephant Man wear when he went to the beach? Could I just wear that?
I found this bathing suit at Prana and I thought it might be the answer to all my problems —
You can be active in it. It’s cute. I wouldn’t have to shave at all. But I would probably wear it with a long-sleeved rash guard shirt so essentially I’d have on a scuba suit. Plus a hat. Would that be just too weird? Would I look like this woman?
I remember when my grandmother would get in the pool with us she’d always wear a bathing suit that had a skirt. I used to think it was so odd. Why does grandma wear clothes in the pool?
I know I should just get over the insecurities and let it all hang out. I mean, really, life goes by in an instant and I’ll be dead and who cares what I look like in a suit and so what if I get a little sun burned and blah, blah, blah…
But until that moment where I reach complete enlightenment and body acceptance, I still need to get a suit.
Should I go for the Prana bathing suit/pants? Prana is having a big Memorial Day Sale this weekend (you should DEFINITELY check it out) so now would be a good time to swoop down and buy it.
I look forward to your thoughts on bathing suits, body image and Elephant man vacation spots.