This lemur is not a slut

Lemur_Pic

photograph by National Geographic

She’s not.  So don’t call her one.  She’s a pro-active female in a modern society.  This lemur can choose as many mates as she wants.  She can wave her tail at a dozen hot lemur guys and say, “Come on over to my tree later.  Leave your lemur condoms at home and bring your appetite for mating.   Which one of you will end up being the father of my child?  Who cares!  Let’s just fuck like monkeys!”

And still, even if she said that, she would not be a slut.

Okay, wait, let me back up.

I was reading National Geographic yesterday about this type of lemur called a “Coquerel’s sifaka” and they happen to live in female dominant groups.  The females are totally in charge of everything.  They even take food out of male’s mouths and shove them around whenever they feel like it.  (“To the moon, lemur!”)

And during mating season the females control which mates they want and how many.  Great.  Wonderful.  What’s the big deal?  Well, here’s the part of the article that annoyed me.

The researcher called the female lemurs “little hussies”.

Excuse me?  So when a female lemur acts like ALL MALES ON EARTH — human and animal — she is called a slut?

I don’t think so.  Not on my watch.

We have dropped the ball on feminism, my friends.  All the rights our mom’s generation fought so hard for we have let slide.  Women still earn 77 cents to every 1.00 a man earns.  Seriously.  W.T.F.?  So if Hillary Clinton becomes President is she going to make less than Obama?  Maybe that should be part of her platform.  I’ve got a great way to cut spending!  Elect me as your President and you can pay me shit!

We have to pick up the baton of feminism.  We have to put our foot on the throat of gender inequality until it screams, “Okay, okay, I give up!”

This means we need to speak up constantly.  Whether it’s a joke about women and their periods or a female boss being a “bitch” instead of a strong leader (which is what a man would be called) or a lemur being called a slut — the more we say “Did you just say what I think you said?” – the sooner it will all stop.

So by the time our daughters grow up and are thrown head first into this big old world of ours, things will be different.

So to all you female Coquerel’s sifakas out there — go for it.  It’s Lemurs gone wild time and if anyone says one single thing about your behavior being “inappropriate” — they’re going to have to deal with me.  

I’ve got your furry back.

And if the fig tree is a rockin’, no judgements will come a knockin’.

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