In the summer, it seems like my kids and I are constantly in the car together… going to the pool, to the library, to the grocery, to the dentist, to Jiffy Lube, back to the grocery because I forgot tampons — you name it, we’re crammed together with the a.c. blasting and the radio on.
And I lOVE listening to the radio. I love listening to what’s popular and current because I am way cool, so much cooler than my Mazda 5 makes me appear. But SOME of the songs on the radio aren’t that great for kids. Well, most of the songs. Actually, probably all of the songs.
Like Talking Body from Tove Lo –
Now if we’re talking body
You got a perfect one
So put it on me
Swear it won’t take you long
If you love me right
We fuck for life
On and on and on
Well, I guess it’s kind of nice that she says, “We fuck for life” — how positively old fashioned of her!
So it’s on in the car the other day and I’m about to switch the stations because my mom inappropriate signal is beeping, but Emmy tries to stop me. “Why are you switching it? I love this song!”
I told Em that I wasn’t crazy about the lyrics and she agreed. “Yeah, it’s so weird that she says you’ve got a perfect body so put it on me.”
I thought, Okay, so she does get it. That’s not good. But then Emmy went on….
“So she’s going to cut his body off and attach it to her body? She wants to have a girl’s head and a boy’s body? That’s going to look soooooooo weird.”
It took me a second to process that Emmy thought “You’ve got a perfect body so put it on me” meant a horrific, Frankenstein-like experiment.
I waited to see if Buck, August or Emmy’s friend would correct her… but they all just agreed! Emmy’s friend said, “Yeah, and it says ‘if you love me right’, but agreeing to cut off your body and give it to another person isn’t love.” (Here, here!) August added, “Yeah, creepy….”
Buck spent the rest of the car ride discussing possible Frankenstein experiments — a dog with a cat head, a horse with a baby’s head, a centipede with Grandpa’s head… it was delightful!
Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised.
When I was a kid, I thought Elton John was singing “Hold me closer, Tony Danza.”