Farm

I apologize to the kid at Chuck E. Cheese’s

I apologize to the kid at Chuck E. Cheese’s

Much like the dentist or the DMV, I try to avoid going to Chuck E. Cheese’s as much as possible, but it just so happened I found myself there the other day.  I gave my kids about four hundred dollars worth of tokens and then began to guard our booth and wait for our freshly defrosted pizza to arrive.  I sat there for a few minutes alone slurping my root beer and laughing to myself thinking, Well, I guess this is…

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Inside the mind of a homeschool mom

Inside the mind of a homeschool mom

Homeschooling is hard.  I’ll just say that right up front.  And it’s not hard for the reasons you would think — like never having time for yourself or figuring out how to teach your kids about fractions.  Those things are actually easier than you think.  Like for example, I just avoid fractions altogether.  Problem solved. The real hard part about homeschooling is all the doubt and second-guessing that comes with it.  You’re going against the grain and anytime you do…

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Oh yeah, I almost died at 7-11

Oh yeah, I almost died at 7-11

Wow, I’m going to die holding a bag of powdered donuts and a vitamin water.… This is what I thought last week as I was taking a road trip to Los Angeles.  It was about one o’clock in the morning.  I had been driving for hours and I was so tired I could barely see.  I was listening to a book on tape — All Creatures Great and Small — which didn’t help at all because the soothing voice of…

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The pig has changed

The pig has changed

For years, our pig Hogan has refused to come in the house if we changed ANY RUGS.  Welcome mat.  Throw rug.  Area rug.  He wouldn’t put a trotter on anything he didn’t know and recognize.  And since I want Hogan to be a part of our family, I just left all rugs exactly the same for years so that he would continue to grace us with his presence. That is, until I couldn’t stand it anymore.  The inside of our…

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How to avoid doing laundry…

How to avoid doing laundry…

Every parent knows that when one child comes down with a fever, it’s only a matter of time before everyone in the house gets sick.  It’s like Russian Roulette with germs — everyone staring silently at each other, eyes darting around, wondering who’s going to go down next. This week it was August who was patient zero, starting with a cough on Monday night.  Next to get hit was Emmy, who puked on Wednesday and now, as of yesterday, I…

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Hello from the other side

Hello from the other side

I’m back!  I took a much longer blog break than I thought I was going to take… like months longer.  For a while after I stopped blogging, I really felt like I would probably have nothing to say ever again, so I might as well stop.  But then I thought about all the posts I’ve written over the last couple of years and realized that I’ve never had anything to say and that never stopped me before… ….So here I…

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When does it get easier?

When does it get easier?

A friend of mine used to volunteer in an old folk’s home and he said one of the residents used to wheel around the halls all day moaning, “When does it get easier?” Ever since then, it has been my catch phrase.  Whenever circumstances seem difficult, I can always be counted on to shout out in a pained voice, “When does it get easier?” In the last month or so, it’s been so hard for me to get to Riot…

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When a goat pees in your face — what not to do

When a goat pees in your face — what not to do

I haven’t written in a while because nothing really funny has happened in my life. Last week, I went to the dentist and was accused of eating too much candy. (Am I on trial or getting my teeth cleaned?) I mopped up some dog vomit which wasn’t very funny at all and I couldn’t find August at the playground for ten minutes which WASN’T FUNNY AT ALL.  (He was hiding under a pile of wood chips as a joke.) Also,…

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All sheep, all the time

All sheep, all the time

I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole, but it’s actually full of sheep, not rabbits. In June, Emerson got two baby lambs, Chip and Pip. They were completely adorable and we all fell in love with them. All was right in the universe and nothing could possibly go wrong. Does it sound like a bad part is coming? Well, it is. About a month ago, something (we suspect our neighbor’s dog) came onto our property and attacked the lambs. Both Chip…

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Ode to Harbin Hot Springs…

Ode to Harbin Hot Springs…

Whenever some natural disaster happens in California, my relatives back east who watch a lot of TV always call to see if I’m okay. “Did you feel that big earthquake today? It’s been all over the news.”  They’ll say, imagining that I’m answering the phone from a crack deep in the earth. The location of the disaster is never near me, so I usually have no idea what they’re talking about.  “Do you mean the earthquake that happened in Las…

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