Animals

Hello from the other side

Hello from the other side

I’m back!  I took a much longer blog break than I thought I was going to take… like months longer.  For a while after I stopped blogging, I really felt like I would probably have nothing to say ever again, so I might as well stop.  But then I thought about all the posts I’ve written over the last couple of years and realized that I’ve never had anything to say and that never stopped me before… ….So here I…

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When a goat pees in your face — what not to do

When a goat pees in your face — what not to do

I haven’t written in a while because nothing really funny has happened in my life. Last week, I went to the dentist and was accused of eating too much candy. (Am I on trial or getting my teeth cleaned?) I mopped up some dog vomit which wasn’t very funny at all and I couldn’t find August at the playground for ten minutes which WASN’T FUNNY AT ALL.  (He was hiding under a pile of wood chips as a joke.) Also,…

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Simple country woman loses it over roosters

Simple country woman loses it over roosters

Before I lived on a farm, I didn’t know anything about chickens. My knowledge of chickens was limited to cartoons, which meant I thought chickens sat happily in a hen house laying eggs all day while a giant protective rooster roamed the area fending off crafty foxes and uttering things like, “I say, I say, Boy, you’re about as sharp as a bowling ball…” It turns out, like most creatures, chickens are more complex than they appear. Their personalities vary…

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What I don’t say when I talk to my kids about climate change

What I don’t say when I talk to my kids about climate change

Mommy, which garbage can should I put this bottle in? “The blue one is for recycling, which means your bottle is going to made into something else.” At least that’s what they say. Who knows really? That bottle’s probably going to end up in the great Pacific garbage dump with all the other ten billion tons of bottles, diapers, cans of Schlitz and condoms. Does buying recycled paper towels really help the Earth? “Absolutely, because it means fewer trees are…

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The lambs are here!

The lambs are here!

Emerson has been waiting since September for lambs and they are finally, finally here. Here’s Chip… And here’s Pip… They are Babydoll Southdown lambs. We got them because they are used in vineyards to keep the grass down and make lots of healthy poops to add nutrients to the soil. Plus, Babydolls are small sheep so they’re not tall enough to reach the grapes. We have an organic vineyard and it takes Bill HOURS and HOURS to mow it and…

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I guess they’re giving fawns to anyone these days

I guess they’re giving fawns to anyone these days

It seems like I got the pre-approval for the fawns.  I don’t know how this happened.  The only thing I can think is that they have fawns coming out of their ears and they’ll pretty much just hand them to anyone willing to bottle-feed an animal three times a day for four months.  (My suggestion — just ask anyone woman that’s ever breast-fed a child.  Three times a day for four months will sound like NOTHING to her.  Plus, you get…

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Did someone say fawn rescue?

Did someone say fawn rescue?

The kids and I were at the feed store AGAIN (I’m thinking of asking if they have loft space to rent) and I always stop by the community chalkboard to see what’s new. Usually it says things like “Wanted: Mowing goats”, “Duck eggs for sale” or sometimes just a mysterious “tools” with a phone number. But not  yesterday. Yesterday it had a sign that I’d never seen before. At first, I thought I didn’t read it correctly. So I read…

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New Life

New Life

Thank you for all your support over the loss of Lacy. It turns out that it does feel really good when someone says, “I’m sorry about your chicken.” It also turns out that many people feel the same way I do about animals — that love is love. No matter if it’s on two legs, four legs or chicken feet. The day before Lacy died, the kids and I had gotten a bunch of new chicks. Lacy met them, but…

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Does anyone say I’m sorry when your chicken dies?

Does anyone say I’m sorry when your chicken dies?

I didn’t want to write this post. But then again, I didn’t want to write any post, especially a funny one. All I want to do is grieve for the loss of my very good friend. My chicken, Lacy. On Friday Lacy was killed in our yard by some animal. I don’t know what it was — a fox or a bobcat. All I could find was a trail of her feathers leading into the woods. I didn’t hear it…

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This lemur is not a slut

This lemur is not a slut

She’s not.  So don’t call her one.  She’s a pro-active female in a modern society.  This lemur can choose as many mates as she wants.  She can wave her tail at a dozen hot lemur guys and say, “Come on over to my tree later.  Leave your lemur condoms at home and bring your appetite for mating.   Which one of you will end up being the father of my child?  Who cares!  Let’s just fuck like monkeys!” And still,…

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