Kids

I apologize to the kid at Chuck E. Cheese’s

I apologize to the kid at Chuck E. Cheese’s

Much like the dentist or the DMV, I try to avoid going to Chuck E. Cheese’s as much as possible, but it just so happened I found myself there the other day.  I gave my kids about four hundred dollars worth of tokens and then began to guard our booth and wait for our freshly defrosted pizza to arrive.  I sat there for a few minutes alone slurping my root beer and laughing to myself thinking, Well, I guess this is…

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Inside the mind of a homeschool mom

Inside the mind of a homeschool mom

Homeschooling is hard.  I’ll just say that right up front.  And it’s not hard for the reasons you would think — like never having time for yourself or figuring out how to teach your kids about fractions.  Those things are actually easier than you think.  Like for example, I just avoid fractions altogether.  Problem solved. The real hard part about homeschooling is all the doubt and second-guessing that comes with it.  You’re going against the grain and anytime you do…

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Oh yeah, I almost died at 7-11

Oh yeah, I almost died at 7-11

Wow, I’m going to die holding a bag of powdered donuts and a vitamin water.… This is what I thought last week as I was taking a road trip to Los Angeles.  It was about one o’clock in the morning.  I had been driving for hours and I was so tired I could barely see.  I was listening to a book on tape — All Creatures Great and Small — which didn’t help at all because the soothing voice of…

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Hello from the other side

Hello from the other side

I’m back!  I took a much longer blog break than I thought I was going to take… like months longer.  For a while after I stopped blogging, I really felt like I would probably have nothing to say ever again, so I might as well stop.  But then I thought about all the posts I’ve written over the last couple of years and realized that I’ve never had anything to say and that never stopped me before… ….So here I…

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When a goat pees in your face — what not to do

When a goat pees in your face — what not to do

I haven’t written in a while because nothing really funny has happened in my life. Last week, I went to the dentist and was accused of eating too much candy. (Am I on trial or getting my teeth cleaned?) I mopped up some dog vomit which wasn’t very funny at all and I couldn’t find August at the playground for ten minutes which WASN’T FUNNY AT ALL.  (He was hiding under a pile of wood chips as a joke.) Also,…

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Ode to Harbin Hot Springs…

Ode to Harbin Hot Springs…

Whenever some natural disaster happens in California, my relatives back east who watch a lot of TV always call to see if I’m okay. “Did you feel that big earthquake today? It’s been all over the news.”  They’ll say, imagining that I’m answering the phone from a crack deep in the earth. The location of the disaster is never near me, so I usually have no idea what they’re talking about.  “Do you mean the earthquake that happened in Las…

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Hey Mom, taste this…

Hey Mom, taste this…

I do all the cooking in our house. It’s just worked out that way. Sure, Bill can cook. He’s a great cook, but a Bill meal is ready about 9:00 p.m. after he’s properly marinated things, simmered things and run out to the store several times to get a few more things. “Oh, this would be so great with leeks!” And then Bill disappears while the kids and I collapse on the ground weak from starvation. A Holly meal, on…

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Attack of the killer moon jellyfish

Attack of the killer moon jellyfish

On the last day of our Florida vacation, I decided to take the kids snorkeling on a coral reef in the keys. I spent my childhood hovering over sea life with a plastic tube shoved in my mouth while my back bubbled in the sun and I wanted to give my kids that same experience. Buck and Emerson snorkeled once in Hawaii, but August has never snorkeled and he wasn’t exactly thrilled to try it. So all the way down…

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You can’t go home again… or can you?

You can’t go home again… or can you?

I’ve often wondered about the title of Thomas Wolfe’s book. I mean, can you go home again? Thomas Wolfe doesn’t think you can, but me, I don’t know. I think it’s possible, in some ways, to go back to your childhood. I’m in Miami right now with my kids on our semi-annual visit to the land of grandparents. As soon as I walk out of the airport and into the blinding wet heat of Miami, everything feels so familiar. The muggy…

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My children interpret pop music

My children interpret pop music

In the summer, it seems like my kids and I are constantly in the car together… going to the pool, to the library, to the grocery, to the dentist, to Jiffy Lube, back to the grocery because I forgot tampons — you name it, we’re crammed together with the a.c. blasting and the radio on. And I lOVE listening to the radio.  I love listening to what’s popular and current because I am way cool, so much cooler than my Mazda…

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